it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
