about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize