Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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