No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
