Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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