i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
