"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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