Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
