My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
