....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
