I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
