What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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