U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
