hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
