how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
