I heard we made out
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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