I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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