im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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