I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
