Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He's a Shit stain on my heart
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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