I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
