wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
It's blow job season.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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