I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
