Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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