based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
i've created a new STD.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
