drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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