I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I can text with my tongue
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
