fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
