My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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