tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
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