i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize