yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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