Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Randomize
