i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
