Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
