white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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