so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize