i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
