I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
