I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
