My nipple is on Facebook.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
