Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
