Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
