i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
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