I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
