I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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