I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
