Jerry, you need to find god
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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