I am in a vortex of obligation.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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