the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
