I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
