Sry I called you an 8
Who did Billy Mays play for?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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