i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
