I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
