Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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