We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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