Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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