Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
