if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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